sharing more of me. the big stuff. i matter most. today.

coming into my own. seeing the 12 year mark. knowing.

i was saved for a reason. knowing.

dreams keep unfolding. i am here and ready. knowing.

tiny old photo of me 12 years ago.

On the eve of the 10th of September I am sharing a big personal part of my life here. Twelve years ago I was sitting in my studio full of fear, anxiety and filled with prayers that I would live. On the 10th of September 2002 I survived a life saving surgery. At 39 years old I was very sick. I could barely walk up the steps to my bedroom. I was passing out and going by ambulance to the ER too many times to mention. Doctor after doctor no one could find anything wrong with me except that my blood pressure was to the moon high. I kept searching for the perfect doctor who would listen and help me. On my 8th doctor I was given the news that I had a serious problem. I remember hearing the news in the office, you have a blockage. Immediately I went to a Vascular surgeon. I then received the phone message saying this, "Kelli you have an aneurysm, please call the office immediately."

My life changed forever. Right in this time and place it was forever changed.

I met with my Vascular surgeon who said it was very possible and likely that I would not survive the surgery. Fate right there in the cold white office on the table I heard words that were very real. I asked if I would live again. He said I cannot promise you this, your aneurysm is wrapped around your right kidney and very tricky to know how we can help you. Okay, so he shot me straight news.

Soon after I had my life laid out in front of me and I went into the hospital for my surgery. I remember riding in the car and thinking I must live I want to feel the wind on my face again. I walked into the hospital and looked up seeing the blue sky and puffy white clouds mixed with the wind and prayed again. Let me live, I have big stuff to do. Really big stuff. Let me live.

After a very long surgery with a team of very talented surgeons. I woke up the next morning in ICU.
Hooked up to every sort of machine = breathing. I kept asking the ICU nurse where I was. YES, I was ALIVE. I could do the rest. I had life.

Ended up I had probably been born with this aneurysm and as I grew so did it. It had wrapped around my right kidney. My right kidney was mostly gone (thus being so sick from toxins etc) I was saved with veins from my left leg rebuilding my renal artery. Yes, very invasive surgery. Lots of big time surgery stuff. I am so forever grateful for my scars both mentally and physically. I lived.

I still have testing to make sure the artery stays open as it is not the one I was born with it is thinner.
I am proud delighted to say that I am a miracle. My life was saved. I get to go big things with great big love. I am trying with all that I know to live a grateful, giving, art filled life. I am sharing what I know and possible teach others.

I know that I have big love to get into the universe. I am doing this with my art and my life. I want bigger. I want to be noticed on a grand scale all because I want to share joy, love and the gift of living with others.

Gratefully celebrating me. ME alive. ME. Oh, how very lucky, beloved, blessed I am.


www.facebook.com/kelli.maykrenz