19 January 2017

Growing up in a little river town.

I grew up in a little river town. I think we had one stoplight. I lived one block from the mighty Mississippi river. I loved the river. We lived on the river in the summer, my dad always had boats and mom and dad and I would pack the coolers, get gas for the boat and launch out for a sun filled boating adventure.

I have been looking at the spirit warrior paintings that keep coming to be for the past several months. They are changing (I actually am liking them) they seem to be bringing me comfort and a sense of home. They are teaching me what is important to my soul at this time in my life. I am listening, paying close attention, journaling and taking notes. How does my style work in this medium? Where is the graphic designer in all of this that I have been for most of my career? I can tell I am heavily influenced by color I was in my design work as well. I still continue to layer, layer and layer more.
 I too do that in my design work. I like these discoveries.

I love what the river and nature has taught me. It feels like home whenever I am around water, sand, fields, docks, cabins. I simply feel alive when I see water. I adore it. I have big plans in my life for this summer (perhaps we will be able to afford a small boat) that would be dreamy.

I know the river has much to teach me still. I feel it. My spirit warriors are starting to become more about nature and elements that breathe life into me. Fire, water, fields, flowers a delicate balance of seeing and capturing these elements with paint. I like it.

I have found that my favorite medium to paint on is heavy wood. I love being able to sand it, cut into it, layer and layer then remove and make marks. It is forgiving and still looks amazing with the raw attempts to texturize it. Yes, I am fond of wood.

Interesting I find that home for me is near water, with a fire, wind, rocks to discover, driftwood to collect, shells to wash ashore. The little girl from the little river town is becoming whole and healing here in this tiny new town of historic everything in the past two years that we have lived here in Galena Illinois.

I have much to give in this artful life I have created. This is the year I give. I show up. I create big huge stuff. I reveal all of my walks, challenges and pray that I help others believe in good, know pure joy, and really appreciate just being alive. I have really big goals this year that I will continue to share. I am full out blasting open every fear and going for it all. I am asking friends for help if I need the connections, I am learning programs, video skills for online class creating. Meeting others who can help guide me to be the best artist I can be.

Tomorrow it is suppose to be 44 degrees here (kind of a heat wave in January)
I will go to the river and thank it for all it continues to bless me with.

Perhaps you have a special place that makes you feel most alive? Maybe, you too can visit it.
I wish this for you.


08 January 2017

2017 blessed, lucky, spirit filled = my life.

blessed spirit. one of my original paintings in my series of spirit warriors. 
I have been thinking lots about what it means to be lucky. What does it mean to be blessed? I am of firm belief that it does not mean you live a super charmed easy life. Nope. Not for me at least. I believe that my life is tested in ways others might not see as lucky or blessed. I seem to have a big bit of huge scary stuff that continues to create me. I am stronger, braver, more blessed because I have survived.

I have been faced with a renal artery aneurysm, a horrible cheating lying marriage (due to his being gay and not admitting), watching someone i love die suddenly in three minutes and being able to do nothing (enlarged heart), several "normal" surgeries gone terribly wrong, people being truly ugly and mean. I know every single soul has big stuff.  I am not saying, "Oh I have so much hard life stuff."
I know that many of you suffer much bigger, much worse and so much harder life stuff. I get it.
My wish is to show others you can survive and be a spirit warrior to not only yourself but, to others as well.

Okay, so the list could go on. Here's what I believe I am really lucky to have seen this part of life, lived through it with all of my imperfections. I am here, I am able to help others (I pray) by showing up and living a full happy, joy filled life. I have financial struggles like some. I get up every single day and choose to see my life as great, filled with more possibilities, more love and really excited to share my joy for living.

I am choosing to make this fine year of 2017 the year I break all of my silences that keep me from being all that I am meant to be. I am going for all of the moments I dream of. I will find ways to finance these dreams. I will make myself known for a shining light and help others dream bigger and know they are loved always. I will write my book and I will publish it.

See I am so lucky because since I was a very little girl I have know that my art would matter. That I could do nothing else. I must create every single day. I have so much to share, give and gift in this world. I have often said that if I had lots of money - I mean lots - I would gather handmade gifts and just spend my days = gifting others. I love packaging gifts and sending them out into the world.

Perhaps, my gifts are here in social media too? I know one thing for sure. I am grateful, I am lucky and I am beyond blessed to have this knowing inside my soul.

Loving more. I am choosing this every single day.


02 January 2017

new year. new visions. old fears being faced.

intentions set 

I am grateful to have this New Year of 2017 in front of me. I have all sorts of new ways of going about creating my dreams. This year I am facing every fear one by one. I am shooting for the big stars and putting all of my intentions around showing up everyday and blowing it out!

My first fear is a biggie. Nothing to do with my studio at all. In the morning I will be having a big dental procedure done. I am afraid. See when I was younger I almost died because of a bad surgeon. Sure I have been having my teeth cleaned regularly, I still have fear. I have survived really big stuff in my life. So when I speak of this fear most of my friends think it is silly as this is so small compared to the other life changing events I have survived.

So I am surrounding myself with prayers of wanting all to go smoothly and perfectly. No surprises, being able to tolerate the sedation and not throwing up in the chair. Healthy new me. Yes, this is my first big fear I am facing. Knowing that the building of my art world seems so easy compared to this morning to come.

I am planning on blogging regularly this year. I think it is so nice to share the easy and the hard stuff. Perhaps, I can help a few others while sharing. This is my wish. Loving more. Being braver and marching stronger.

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