11 April 2014
I am searching these days for a peace to wash over me. I am experiencing panic attacks. Yes, the real ones that are super scary. I have been to the doctor and working with her on all that needs to happen.
One big question remains = why and what is making me panic? Soul searching I go.
My life has been filled with lots of soul searching, giving, loving and healing. I know that I can find the way back from these panic places. I am just on the path. So until I turn the right corner and walk down the right path - I will be searching. I will be noticing. I will keep my journal daily. I will create more art (the safest place in the world for me) I will love with a bigger heart. I will give more with less.
I will be grateful that this too shall pass and I will find the path of no panic.
Real life lessons. I will share and hopefully help some others.
25 March 2014
|line work some of my most favorite = ink with bamboo skewer|
|handmade envelope + treats for friends|
|hand stitched quilt piece by me, print, collage elements, all good.|
I have had my voice and run with it for years and years. I have had wild success with being a graphic designer, illustrator = always creating for clients. Having a rep to find my work. Lucky me. I have traveled and been lucky enough to snag really cool clients (that even made me feel like WOW-they picked me)
Well essentially with our move across the country last May I claimed my voice again. I am just hearing it these days (yes, it took longer then I thought it would to settle) I am so grateful that I live in beauty daily, inspired by the ocean, the birds, the lush tropics. It is all good. Really great. Finding that peace inside, the knowing = it is okay to just create and send it out into the world.
So I am creating with deadlines for myself these days. I am creating a body of work that will be coming together to dance for others. I am risking, I am pushing, I am doing this. Yes, I had found my voice again. Here I go.
Not easy. Learning daily and pushing harder. Okay, mountain get ready to move over. I am climbing you now.
17 March 2014
|work in progress = teaching me so much today|
|daily reminders = gifts of grace|
|daily reminders = gifts of grace|
Focus on just creating for the sake of creating = for me me me. This is my uphill race.
I have my studio graphic design deadlines. I always meet them and they go swimmingly well.
I know must make the art of kelli world a deadline to produce and get out into the big world.
I am hoping by posting this I will start to believe I am talented enough. Silly how artists do this to ourselves. Tonight I am going to tell myself when I wake in the morning = Kelli you go get this world and show your art. Do it now. You are enough. You have everything you need. Go.
Hard lesson I am learning. I am learning.
20 January 2014
|love sweet love princess owl hoot hoot|
|yes, i love to wear skirts but, not today. thank you.|
|my signature vest i adore wearing.|
creating is where i find my comfort, peace, strength and my knowing. i just need to sit for a time and create and my world snaps into focus. i have always escaped to the most wonderful glee filled places with some level of knowing when i create.
staying on track so far this new year. creating for me. sharing with others. selling my original art for the first time personally. being super grateful that i am able to be an artist. trying to find the way to spread positive love and joy on a grand scale - world wide.
i will continue my quest knowing that the more i send out the better i feel.
grateful beyond. knowing.
13 January 2014
|mixed media collage designed by me framed in vintage (of course)|
|graphics created by me, quote by me. unframed.|
|mixed media painting collage all by me. unframed.|
|daisy darling pen and ink, watercolor by me. unframed.|
|pen and ink illustration, watercolor by me. unframed||.|
|pen and ink, watercolor illustration by me. unframed.|
|mixed media illustration artwork by me. unframed.|
I was already a graphic designer, illustrator, artist at the time. I never charged extra for illustration.
I always thought that if it came easy to me it was worthless. After this conversation I hired an illustration rep.
So for the past thirty years or so I have made a living (gratefully) creating for clients. I really never found the confidence to create just for me and put it out there in this great big world. Crazy as that sounds it is very true.
So after many years of nurturing this thought of creating for me and sharing with the world = I begin. Yes, I begin again. I am creating. I am listing my art on Etsy. I am telling others that it is out there to be found by like souls. I am still trembling inside praying that the folks who receive my art will like it in person.
I so look forward to the day when the anxiety leaves me and I know this = Kelli your art is good, it helps others feel good, it is okay to put it all out there.
Thanking you for sharing my journey. You are greatly adored.
09 January 2014
|original pen and ink illustration|
|pen and ink illustration of laurel wreath and flower|
|final logo = full of layers, illustrations, favorite colors|
So in this New Year of 2014 I have decided to face every fear and slay it down. I love love love the child like nature of me = I am embracing this finally. Hence, this little logo that feels happy, full of hope and joy.
My wish is that I can fill the space in my world with love, joy, unconditional glee.
This tiny little simple logo is my fresh start greeting 2014. Snappy happy me. Grateful to the moon and back to be living this life of mine.
07 January 2014
|listening to my whole heart = facing fears|
|my first printed Pearl Button card 2013 Holiday|
|my first Pearl Button Sticker 2013 Holiday|
|forever grateful for my little 12 pound muse = daughter Pearl Button|
i have so many fears about making this happen = not sure where they come from or why? i am choosing this = face them, break them down one by one and THRIVE.
i will be learning how to create a following of like minds and souls. i do hope to inspire, create and give of myself through my designs.
here i go. please come with me = we will have fun.
12 September 2013
|my re birthday treat|
|gifts from a sacred soul friend|
|new view from our new rental home in two weeks|
moving again this month. yes, i waited 17 years to sell my home and move across the country. now after 3 months moving again. grateful for this life of change and gifts that are blessed for me.
i posted a few photos above of random bits of my life these days. simply said it feels good to be alive, knowing what it is like to really feel good, appreciating that i can change in ways i never imagined.
so so grateful.
14 August 2013
|crazy loving the air plants and tropicals|
|adoring this planter with shells and just a tiny plant or two|
|new find = vintage and loving so much|
Taking elements out of my life that did not work for me. Things that did not make me shine. Filling those places and spaces up with everyday beauty, everyday things, that is a real gift.
I have always loved nature. Rocks, shells, trees, leafs, colors in the grasses and flowers. I feel like vintage loves and nature combined help me be me. Learning to just create and be what a free place.
I am continuing my alters and shrines these days. They are getting bigger and better and filling me up.
The shine is becoming more and more clear for this I am most grateful.
Sending all good energy, love and raw happiness into the world everyday.
11 August 2013
|me the night before my world taught me more|
|a sacred meadow|
|a precious girl named Natasha (Nattie)|
|a simple shrine to celebrate life|
I was blessed to adopt his girl Nattie and have her as my girl for over 6 years. How lucky that my soul could be loved by this angel.
I am always aware of how precious time and moments are. I try my best to act in kindness, to love fully without fears, to give all that I have. I know that my journey is beginning yet again to love, give, create and make a difference in this big world.
Tonight I honor the moments in life my dear loved friend had and shared with me. I celebrate Nattie and all of the goodness she has taught me.
I celebrate how very very lucky I am to be me.
10 August 2013
|leaving at five in the morning to fly across the country to Big Sur|
|second flight a little plane to get me to San Jose|
|embracing color and me|
|beauty was everywhere|
|Big Sur Esalen = amazing|
|sacred spaces speaking to my soul|
|the ocean and her daily magic|
|living mindfully with intentions|
|sacred sisters = so gratefully blessed|
One week at Esalen with like souls = artists. Facing silly fears that were very real to me and over coming anxiety. Move across the country after selling my home of 17 years, selling most everything I owned and 2 months later pack up and fly to Big Sur. Yes, these are the times that will teach me who I am at my very core.
I found that I am not alone in my thinking or being in life. I can have very powerful connections and friendships based on common truths with other artists and like souls. I was left knowing that I can move a mountain (again) I can create and help and love love love.
For me this retreat was so inspiring, empowering and life changing. I am gushing with glee for the women who created this and for the women who attended.
I know that as my mind wraps around this sacred time I will have more to share and write. For today I will say this = I am proud of myself and I am loving the journey my life is giving me.
08 August 2013
|lots of special details all coming together to create something special|
|vintage beads, glass, stones, color all combined with love|
|little vintage hand sewn bags with tags, feathers, beads, stitches|
|15 necklaces to give = grateful i am|
These are some treats I created to give my new friends I was going to meet at Esalen in Big Sur. Knowing that I had never met any of these women (in person) left me wanting to give something from my heart that would travel home with them. Nothing better then giving of ourselves.
They were well received by these new friends of mine. I know for sure they know they are cherished and so welcome in my world.
Beloved. Giving. Grateful. I am.