12 September 2016

14 years ago today my life was savedi

i believe in prayers and intentions 

i believe in magic and miracles

i believe in being me

Fourteen years ago today I went into Methodist Hospital in Minneapolis to face a surgery that would save my life. No one knew if I would live or die. I had an renal artery aneurysm, it had wrapped itself around my right kidney and made the surgery super risky and surgeons unsure that I would make it. It was a super long surgery and I remember waking up in ICU and asking the nurse if I was alive. I remember her face, I remember all of the tubes coming out from everywhere, mostly I remember that I was alive.

I had made a deal with God the day of my surgery as I walked into the hospital. I remember looking up at the clouds in the blue sky, feeling wind on my face and thinking, "I will see this again!" I also made a promise (my deal with God) that I would start living my life happy, even if it meant changing the reality I lived in.

My recovery was not super fast but, I did do a great job healing, being brave, strong and mindful.

The surgery brought my life into focus, it made me stop and listen to my heart. My world looked different after that. It was changed forever.

I continue to have yearly tests to make sure my renal artery (that is now created from veins in my left leg) the artery is smaller then my original one so I must take care to keep it well. I know that my life is a miracle. It is such a miracle that I am still here after 14 years with this new artery. It is a miracle that I have fully changed my life. REALLY changed my life.

Once, every year when I have the tests I think - wow, will I be okay. What if it is not okay? Then I realize - hey you ended up with 14 more years. Keep going.

I celebrate today in such a meaningful loving way. I try to remember to just keep being me, I am more then enough. I celebrate waking up everyday. Sure I do not have a super easy life. I work hard. I create daily towards bigger dreams that I keep challenging myself with. The very best part of all of this is - I get to. I am alive. I am so beyond grateful to just be alive. Happy re birthday to me.

Love your life. Every minute matters. It truly does.