becoming more of me 2017

little me. i had a pixie haircut until i was 18. 

she believed she could so she did! I believe I can. 

2011 Paris France. I have such a connection to this city.

2017 changing all of my comfort zones.

March 1st seems like a perfect time to blog about ME. I have been thinking lots about what makes me - ME. I will share this with you I have suffered from anxiety and depression my entire life. Mainly anxiety and lack of self esteem. SHOCKED? Nope it is true. I work daily at filling myself up and practicing positive living. It is not easy. I might make it look easy but, I promise you it is not.
I am blessed with a knowing that my creating, my art is how I am meant to live my life. My art is truly my escape and my therapy.

Three years ago I made the choice to back out of my corporate freelance with graphic design and illustration. I have owned my studio for 25 years. I had really steady lovely clients. I made the decision to sell the home I had lived in for 17 years, sell most everything I could and move across the country with my hubby and Pearl Button. We did it!!! We moved to Florida (thinking this was the dream come true) Time would tell us that it was not.

I continued while I was there to start creating for me. Not for anyone but, me. I have been told my entire life that I need to pick one style, or try to fit into this mold, do this like they do and you will sell more. NOPE!!! I cannot, will not copy others, I will not just show that I can do one style. See God has blessed me to draw, paint, graphic design, sew, style spaces. Not only one style of these but, lots and lots. I am in no means bragging because see I have no ego either.

Rare to meet an artist that has no ego and not cocky with self esteem. So I am learning now at this time in my life that yes, I have anxiety and it is a big deal to face daily. I also know that I am not listening to those trying to hold me back. I am taking bigger risks, facing bigger fears no matter how much it is scary.

I am sending all sorts of my styles of artwork (very soon) into the world. I am determined to make a difference with my art! It matters to me that I succeed wildly. See I know what it is like to go to the very bottom and with help from others stand up again.

I am standing, I am walking along the rivers edge praying for the manifesting of my dreams. I am also working day and night to create this life.

I want others to know that my life is not easy. I wake up each day and pour more love on me and practice all of the words you see me right. The old bad habits fall away and new ones replace them.

Just like you I have big stuff that I must juggle with. I am only showing up real, honest and hoping to help.

Loving more.

www.kellimaykrenz.com

day 19 and 20 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

what if you face that fear and WIN! make it happen. you can do it. 

Mindfully living is what we are all on this journey for. Connecting with others of like souls, wounds, visions, hope and love. Yes, we are practicing the fine art of mindfully living. Living in the moment, living in the here and now. Practicing letting go of old tapes that no longer serve us. Letting go of the hurts that folks swing at us. No need to hang on to hurt, it truly will only continue to haunt you and will never ever serve you for anything good. I promise.

So what if you face that fear and win? What would that look like for you? Would it be a huge mountain to climb and you would be faced with your wildest nightmare? Believe me if you can imagine it, it can happen (probably not) but, it can. I have imagined the worst possible things happening in my life and somehow I have been called out and given bigger more horrible things then my imagination could dream up. Oh, and I have a wild good imagination. My point is I lived through these things with lots of love and help from others. I learned so much. Yes, I suffered greatly. Yes, I live my life practicing the healing love I so deserve and need.

So perhaps you write down your worse fears, and you look at what you would need in your life to change these around and make them go away. SUPER HARD stuff no kidding. We YOU can do it.

I know with my whole heart that we are all capable of more self love. I know it!!! I learn it every single day. Give your best and love YOU.

We are on the mountain together hand in hand and we are doing this!!! Yes, we are taking our fears and making them turn into puffy white clouds that simply float away. I picture my big fears then I turn them into a puffy white pretty cloud and I send them up to the great blue sky. NOT EASY at all. Practicing makes it easier every single day. I love you.

You are safe and loved here on this #100 day journey of YOU with me.

2015 I am showing up

Happy New Year. Happy year of beginning again. I have been marching my design path for many many years. Always knowing that I had something bigger and more inside me to get out. Being brave enough to actually go beyond  being the artist designer but, not being seen has been a hard climb for me. I feel like this year is my year to ARRIVE. For this very reason I have picked my word for 2015 to be ARRIVE.

One year ago I chose the word SHINE. I pushed and created and took every chance I could to get my art and designs out to people who could publish and notice my work. I tried my very best to SHINE in the way I had longed to. I am blessed to say that it worked as of this new month of Jan 2015. I have been published 7 times. I have had so many friends and my loving family behind me saying that I could do this. I could overcome the anxieties and just put myself out there.

I am grateful for listening and believing others when I have not believed myself. My parents have always believed in me and my art, always encouraged me to design and create. My hubby has been a constant voice of positive encouragement daily (even when I doubt myself the most) he is there going through my panic and anxiety coaching me on.

This new publication called Room to Create is a huge dream come true for me. As I have always been interested in where other talents create and what fuels them. I am proud of this article as it truly is me, how I think, where my passions come from. I am grateful for being recognized (knowing there are so many amazing artists in the world)

I am learning that our blessing come when we gush positive goodness on ourselves, when we truly listen to our hearts and what we want to matter at the end of each day. I continue to work on my anxieties and Mr. Doubt. I know that I will continue to work on shining and I will ARRIVE this year.

Happy to announce that in May I will be launching my line of Pearl Button's World of cards, prints and other goodness. I applied to be in the NY National Stationary Show a new division called FRESH - where a panel of talent votes you in or out. I am so proud to be in this juried section of Fresh.

This much I know even when you have fears and doubts move forward any way you can. It matters, it counts and you are so much happier.

https://www.facebook.com/kelli.maykrenz