14 years ago today my life was savedi

i believe in prayers and intentions 

i believe in magic and miracles

i believe in being me

Fourteen years ago today I went into Methodist Hospital in Minneapolis to face a surgery that would save my life. No one knew if I would live or die. I had an renal artery aneurysm, it had wrapped itself around my right kidney and made the surgery super risky and surgeons unsure that I would make it. It was a super long surgery and I remember waking up in ICU and asking the nurse if I was alive. I remember her face, I remember all of the tubes coming out from everywhere, mostly I remember that I was alive.

I had made a deal with God the day of my surgery as I walked into the hospital. I remember looking up at the clouds in the blue sky, feeling wind on my face and thinking, "I will see this again!" I also made a promise (my deal with God) that I would start living my life happy, even if it meant changing the reality I lived in.

My recovery was not super fast but, I did do a great job healing, being brave, strong and mindful.

The surgery brought my life into focus, it made me stop and listen to my heart. My world looked different after that. It was changed forever.

I continue to have yearly tests to make sure my renal artery (that is now created from veins in my left leg) the artery is smaller then my original one so I must take care to keep it well. I know that my life is a miracle. It is such a miracle that I am still here after 14 years with this new artery. It is a miracle that I have fully changed my life. REALLY changed my life.

Once, every year when I have the tests I think - wow, will I be okay. What if it is not okay? Then I realize - hey you ended up with 14 more years. Keep going.

I celebrate today in such a meaningful loving way. I try to remember to just keep being me, I am more then enough. I celebrate waking up everyday. Sure I do not have a super easy life. I work hard. I create daily towards bigger dreams that I keep challenging myself with. The very best part of all of this is - I get to. I am alive. I am so beyond grateful to just be alive. Happy re birthday to me.

Love your life. Every minute matters. It truly does.


www.kellimaykrenz.com

Staying safe in what I know.

I have been through lots of big hard things in my life. We all have I know this. I have been blessed with great miracles = one of the biggest is my life. I am beyond grateful to wake up each and everyday.

So much heavy big stuff in my life of late. Balancing the emotional makings of life with a creative business is always interesting to me. I often try looking above my life as if part of me is sitting in a tree looking down on me. I wonder what really counts this moment and what can be shifted aside.
I listen to my heart (it always knows) It is in the practicing of listening and hearing that days are filled with more then just trying.

I have noticed that I tend to create what I need. If I need to be extra strong I create warriors, wise beings with antlers and adorned bodies. I am seeing myself in all that I have been creating lately. The stories that these pieces are telling me and then watching them come to life.

I have so much to learn yet, I feel like I know a whole big bunch too. I want to share more, give more and seek more like souls to surround me.

I know that I will continue to climb the biggest mountains and be grateful while I do.
I hope to be a blessing to those of you who follow me.

day 21, 22 and yes 23 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

original mixed media art, quote by me. love more.

Love your heart with tender care. it matters. Truth. We need to love ourselves with all of our flaws (that we see more then anyone else ever) It is hard to get past lots of old stuff, I know. I also know that living in the moment is everything good. It feels terrific to give love to others. Imagine how great it will feel to show yourself some of that whole love. Yes, let's do it.

I struggle with giving myself the love that I give out so freely to others. I am certainly nice to me, I am so grateful for my body and the life it gives me. I think maybe, loving the emotional parts will be a good practice for me. You know the forgiving ourselves for past hurts, not feeling like we do enough or we are enough. Turn those thoughts around every time one tries to sneak in - just say NO.

This weekend was about loving more for me. Finding ways to show love with words, actions and listening. These are all gifts we all have and can give. Let's just be mindful of who gets US and our love.

Leaving you with this idea. What would it look like to wake up tomorrow and do one really precious milestone thing you have been putting off? Like a thank you call you have been meaning to make, a special moment to share with another person who loves you (hug) even in a short note you mail out, taking a picture of something you never ever want to forget. Have fun with your life. It is precious and I promise this stuff matters the very most.

Love more.

day 18 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

knowing we are on the right journey. working, creating, loving yourself. 

Lately I have been seeing a new side of me that is even more determined then normal. I am seeing things around me in my world that need editing big time. So what do I do when this pops up? I listen and I edit. So around my studio space things are getting moved, cleaned, edited. New vision boards are being created. I am planning a new launch of ME. It feels good, empowered by the words I tell myself and the actions I am taking to make my dreams happen even more. Yes, we all can do this.

Try this look down on yourself as if you were a giraffe looking down. What do you see? Do you like what you see? Is there anything you can do to make it different? Are there baby steps or big giant leaps you can take? YOU CAN DO IT!!! Think big and then start, it matters. See if you can step out of your everyday head space long enough to really look, listen and see YOU, you can start making YOU a better happier soul.

My blog name came from this concept = here's another way of looking at it. I try to look at my life and my journey from different perspectives. If I do not like the way it looks then I bust out and try with all of my earnest might to change it.

YOU can do this. Practice loving YOU. You are worth the investment of time. I promise YOU are.

So much love I am putting out into this big world for YOU and me too.

It is what it is until it isn't anymore. Change can be a really great thing!

http://www.kellimaykrenz.com/

Day 13 and 14 of #100 days of YOU with Kelli

one word 

Hi, I have been thinking about words. Lots of words and all the meanings that they have. The permanent places words can hold in our lives if we choose to let them. Sometimes it is a word that makes our day seem better or it can turn our day around and hurt us (only if we let it).

I like to find words that move me to a feeling of good. I love the word SHINE. I love the word HOPE. I love the word KIND. There are so many words that move me but, these three stay constant.

When I turned 50 I wanted a tat that said shine - why? I wanted to remind myself daily that I could make a choice to shine in my light and to be a good bringer of shine to others. I have never not loved this word on my forearm. Each day I still am reminded of exactly why I put it there.

Our affirmations are much like my tattoo. Less permanent in some ways but, can make a permanent place in our minds and hearts. I love this.

Making mindful choices of what we want to tell ourselves everyday matters. I hope you are all making a list of sorts. Helping affirmations that will help you practice daily goodness to YOU.

I am so grateful that you are here. This next week we will start our journal making together. I look forward to sharing more of my heart with you.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/859440144162697/

Day 9 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

we are telling our stories. right here right now. 

We are into our second week of this journey together. Lots of feeling come up. Some are not so fun to look at. I know this. Here are a few ideas and ways that I have honored the hard times and bad memories but, let them go.

Remember, you do not have to be that person who is hurt and angry anymore. You can choose to move past your fears. Letting go of anger does not mean that you have to forget what has happened in your life to make you feel the things you feel. It simply means you no longer want to hold space in your precious heart for things that make you feel bad.

Write your list of happy. Write your list of sad. See which list feels more like YOU. Practice liking yourself without the sadness that was given to you as a child or ever. Practice letting go of these hurts. Replace these hurt feelings with new happy moments. Simply put, when your brain starts remembering or old tapes start repeating in your head - say STOP (you can even say it out loud if it helps) then immediately think of a happy memory and start replacing.

This takes time and lots of practice. I know I have done it. It works. I went through a few years of therapy working on these practices. I am now a huge fan of believing in good over bad.

So for today let it be enough that we are owning our feelings. We are loved and sharing and everything is unfolding as it should.

Thank you for showing up on day 9. I love you.


https://www.facebook.com/groups/859440144162697/

Day 8 of "100 days of YOU with kelli"

me at 52 sharing my life with you. grateful. i am. 

Hello day 8. I think this is going great! Yes, I do. I love that a few of you are sharing and really diving into this journey with me. Thank you so very much.

I have decided that it would be a great idea for me to talk about some biggies that I have climbed over. How I have put these moments in my life and turned them around to give me more passion and grace.

We have been thinking of our childhood loves. How our childhood free thoughts and sense of wonder was so giving and such a carefree time. I love to hold onto the really great stuff. We all have some I just know it, along with hard stuff that we have overcome.

When I was growing up I was bullied A LOT! I grew up in a small river town in Iowa so everyone knew everyone. There were some really mean girls that would bully me. I would walk to school in fear, I would have tons of fear in the locker room or even just at my locker in the hall. Yes, I was treated terribly. Of course, my parents were always having my back and trying to make this stop. As we all know sometimes this makes it worse. Drats!!! I learned a few great things about mean bully people. I learned that it is always about the other person who just needs to act out and hurt others because they feel good pushing someone smaller around. I learned that I could rise above it and succeed with my ability to ignore. I would find great comfort in my art and would develop a wonderful imagination to feel beyond the hurt. I continue to rise above mean people. Sure I am sensitive and I have feelings that get hurt from time to time. I will say this - I tell myself how lucky I am to be alive, how blessed I am to be able to show love and give love, I tell myself that I am so heavenly lucky to not be a bully or mean person. Grace is a gift. I give myself grace and love every single day. I turn away from people or moments in my life that do not serve me to my greater good.
NO this is not easy - but with practice it becomes easy and so healing.

Maybe, when we think about our childhood some icky feeling pop up. Yes, that is okay because we are being given the gift of healing those long ago hurts. How wonderful to know that we can heal even a zillion years later. Yes, we are strong, brave and showing up to create our best life yet.

We are all here and climbing our mountain together. I love us. I love you.

Thank you for being present, for taking time to notice the stuff in your life that works for you.
This matters. You matter the very most.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/859440144162697/

loving life - celebrating moments I am

Pearl Button cherished beyond 

magic when I hold her 

she is pure love 

nothing more real pure light 

This past week was a rush of living life out loud and fully. Friends visiting (who have never been here before). New journey into learning more scheduling and order to my creative days with a very talented mentor and coach. New online class that requires me to be brave, learn more and take more leaps into faith and a knowing in my heart.

Then came an hour of sunshine through the window, fun clothes to play dress up in, layering my pearl necklaces (all gifts from friends) putting a bit of silly on and holding my most precious little Pearl Button.

My hubby grabbing his iphone and snapping some photos of this space and time in my life.

Yes, I am 52 and still learning every single day. Yes, I am aging and changing both inside and out. I work daily at embracing all that I am. Loving me fully for the goodness I know I have. These photos are not retouched or doctored up to look special. For me these photos represent taking a moment in my life to say this, "Kelli you are so blessed to be alive, have love surround you and truly know beauty."

Celebrating the precious everyday. I am trying. It makes a difference. Loving more.

www.kellimaykrenz.com

wide open land. wide open life. keep dreaming.

oh this. memories for me. dreams that still need nurtured.

land. fields. trees. barns. gravel. space.

my little family dreaming with me. hubby and pearl button.

I often write about how fast time dashes by. Seems like I can blink and one month is gone. I have been searching, dreaming, moving, reaching, building, working so hard for the past two years. I know the only way to achieve all that I need to fill my soul up is to work really hard and focus. Lessons that I have know most of my life. Listening to my heart. Listening to the voices that speak the loudest to me. Listening to this art filled life of mine that keeps me inspired, keeps me loving big, keeps me pushing.

Dreams are funny things. I know that dreams only come true with tons of hard work. I have had so many of my dreams come true. Seems funny I can still want more, I do. I want what I know is inside of me just waiting to SHINE out.  I stumble, I flat out fall but, I get back up and keep pushing the mountains aside.

Drive. I sometimes ask myself - where does my drive come from? Is it just survival? No, not for me.
I want to thrive in giving love. I want to share my messages of hope, surviving, dreaming big and creating a life well lived.

Hard lessons only push me harder. I pray to be a light for others.

Why the pictures of this farm and land? Right now in this time and space the rolling hills, the green grass, gravel roads, crickets singing, grasshoppers hopping and mind stopping beauty has my heart.
I wonder do I need to be out in the midst of 20 acres creating, retreating and making my biggest dream come true?

Come with me and see this adventure that is wide open. Grateful to be noticing my days with grace and appreciation. Never ever take your life for granted. You are precious.

http://www.kellimaykrenz.com/ my new website where you can learn more about my life and my art.

sharing more of me. the big stuff. i matter most. today.

coming into my own. seeing the 12 year mark. knowing.

i was saved for a reason. knowing.

dreams keep unfolding. i am here and ready. knowing.

tiny old photo of me 12 years ago.

On the eve of the 10th of September I am sharing a big personal part of my life here. Twelve years ago I was sitting in my studio full of fear, anxiety and filled with prayers that I would live. On the 10th of September 2002 I survived a life saving surgery. At 39 years old I was very sick. I could barely walk up the steps to my bedroom. I was passing out and going by ambulance to the ER too many times to mention. Doctor after doctor no one could find anything wrong with me except that my blood pressure was to the moon high. I kept searching for the perfect doctor who would listen and help me. On my 8th doctor I was given the news that I had a serious problem. I remember hearing the news in the office, you have a blockage. Immediately I went to a Vascular surgeon. I then received the phone message saying this, "Kelli you have an aneurysm, please call the office immediately."

My life changed forever. Right in this time and place it was forever changed.

I met with my Vascular surgeon who said it was very possible and likely that I would not survive the surgery. Fate right there in the cold white office on the table I heard words that were very real. I asked if I would live again. He said I cannot promise you this, your aneurysm is wrapped around your right kidney and very tricky to know how we can help you. Okay, so he shot me straight news.

Soon after I had my life laid out in front of me and I went into the hospital for my surgery. I remember riding in the car and thinking I must live I want to feel the wind on my face again. I walked into the hospital and looked up seeing the blue sky and puffy white clouds mixed with the wind and prayed again. Let me live, I have big stuff to do. Really big stuff. Let me live.

After a very long surgery with a team of very talented surgeons. I woke up the next morning in ICU.
Hooked up to every sort of machine = breathing. I kept asking the ICU nurse where I was. YES, I was ALIVE. I could do the rest. I had life.

Ended up I had probably been born with this aneurysm and as I grew so did it. It had wrapped around my right kidney. My right kidney was mostly gone (thus being so sick from toxins etc) I was saved with veins from my left leg rebuilding my renal artery. Yes, very invasive surgery. Lots of big time surgery stuff. I am so forever grateful for my scars both mentally and physically. I lived.

I still have testing to make sure the artery stays open as it is not the one I was born with it is thinner.
I am proud delighted to say that I am a miracle. My life was saved. I get to go big things with great big love. I am trying with all that I know to live a grateful, giving, art filled life. I am sharing what I know and possible teach others.

I know that I have big love to get into the universe. I am doing this with my art and my life. I want bigger. I want to be noticed on a grand scale all because I want to share joy, love and the gift of living with others.

Gratefully celebrating me. ME alive. ME. Oh, how very lucky, beloved, blessed I am.


www.facebook.com/kelli.maykrenz

marching on most positively proud

This summer has me thinking a lot about putting all good energy into words and works of creative and sharing more. I often send energy out into this big world most silently without word to anyone.
I noticed how much better my soul feels when I share positive happy good silly kind thoughts.
So here I go again.

I have always loved taking bits of things and creating something from them. I have these marvy little squares of cardboard and each day I create something lovely to send out to the world. Energy as it turns out is everything. Good solid energy, connecting with your fellow who's in the universe. Finding passions and running fast with them ~ hold them tight. They are our gifts.

Thanks for staying with me on my blog journey. Grateful I am.


http://www.facebook.com/730Thursday - more creative by me found here.

happy mothers day = mom.

oh how i loved ballet

i still twirl my hair. no thumb sucking though.

Today is all about mothers day. I am an only child and I can tell you this ~ I am most grateful for my life. Thanks Mom. I have always been cherished and loved and taken care of. Funny as we get older we appreciate different things about our childhood. I am very very lucky.

I have never had the fortune of having a child. I have had dogs ~ yes, I know they are not kids but, to me they are.

To live each moment knowing you have someone who treasures you and cares for you all of the time ~ yes, that is what I have been blessed with from both of my parents.

My mom has always been strong, pretty, talented, wise, fun, funny, interesting, giving and so very very sweet. I hope that if someone were to describe me I would be lucky enough to have a few of these kind words said.

I love you to the moon and back Mom.  Thanks for being you.

crazy goofy happy designing new card collections

gazing up she knew. dream big.

she only thought of treats. precious.

she loved her friends. nest.

she often dreamed of giant strawberries while on her picnics. sweet.

floating in pretty. she loves sunshine.

One of the twinkle lights that went off in my head the other day was this. Pearl Button a new fun wacky and happy card line based on our little JRT Pearl Button. Sure I have other cards in this line that do not have Pearl in them. I just happen to be flipping about the Pearl dog ones right now.

I have just sent the first batch to my printer and I am most excited to see what they look like printed.
I am really excited about my little cards. I feel like I am breaking into a new journey for me that will make me most happy. My hopes are folks who see these cards will smile, maybe giggle and most of all enjoy and share them.

So on I march into new card lines and to the moon with ideas.

More creative by me found here http://www.facebook.com/730Thursday

finding joy in the simpleness of being me

so true. it takes time to believe this. i believe.

i found my passion when i was 6 and still believe.

Today I have thought a great deal about my life. Again with the journey my class Hello Soul. Hello Business has me on. I feel like I am waking up from a deep slumber to find really happy good stuff just waiting to say hello to me.

I am so grateful that my entire life I have had the escape, safe place to live in my art. I am just getting how lucky I am to be connected by so many threads to so many beautifully gifted artists in the world.

There are over 300 women in my class from all over the world. I am finding that the common bond between us all is spirit.

Find your spirit. Live it. Love it. No one on the planet has a spirit like yours. You are given gifts, use them, take them and make them yours each day.

Play. Dance. Create. Love. Be.

I am taking tomorrow off from my blog (I think) I am just going to be creating.

These fabu quotes are from http://pinterest.com/