day 19 and 20 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

what if you face that fear and WIN! make it happen. you can do it. 

Mindfully living is what we are all on this journey for. Connecting with others of like souls, wounds, visions, hope and love. Yes, we are practicing the fine art of mindfully living. Living in the moment, living in the here and now. Practicing letting go of old tapes that no longer serve us. Letting go of the hurts that folks swing at us. No need to hang on to hurt, it truly will only continue to haunt you and will never ever serve you for anything good. I promise.

So what if you face that fear and win? What would that look like for you? Would it be a huge mountain to climb and you would be faced with your wildest nightmare? Believe me if you can imagine it, it can happen (probably not) but, it can. I have imagined the worst possible things happening in my life and somehow I have been called out and given bigger more horrible things then my imagination could dream up. Oh, and I have a wild good imagination. My point is I lived through these things with lots of love and help from others. I learned so much. Yes, I suffered greatly. Yes, I live my life practicing the healing love I so deserve and need.

So perhaps you write down your worse fears, and you look at what you would need in your life to change these around and make them go away. SUPER HARD stuff no kidding. We YOU can do it.

I know with my whole heart that we are all capable of more self love. I know it!!! I learn it every single day. Give your best and love YOU.

We are on the mountain together hand in hand and we are doing this!!! Yes, we are taking our fears and making them turn into puffy white clouds that simply float away. I picture my big fears then I turn them into a puffy white pretty cloud and I send them up to the great blue sky. NOT EASY at all. Practicing makes it easier every single day. I love you.

You are safe and loved here on this #100 day journey of YOU with me.

day 18 of #100 days of YOU with kelli

knowing we are on the right journey. working, creating, loving yourself. 

Lately I have been seeing a new side of me that is even more determined then normal. I am seeing things around me in my world that need editing big time. So what do I do when this pops up? I listen and I edit. So around my studio space things are getting moved, cleaned, edited. New vision boards are being created. I am planning a new launch of ME. It feels good, empowered by the words I tell myself and the actions I am taking to make my dreams happen even more. Yes, we all can do this.

Try this look down on yourself as if you were a giraffe looking down. What do you see? Do you like what you see? Is there anything you can do to make it different? Are there baby steps or big giant leaps you can take? YOU CAN DO IT!!! Think big and then start, it matters. See if you can step out of your everyday head space long enough to really look, listen and see YOU, you can start making YOU a better happier soul.

My blog name came from this concept = here's another way of looking at it. I try to look at my life and my journey from different perspectives. If I do not like the way it looks then I bust out and try with all of my earnest might to change it.

YOU can do this. Practice loving YOU. You are worth the investment of time. I promise YOU are.

So much love I am putting out into this big world for YOU and me too.

It is what it is until it isn't anymore. Change can be a really great thing!

http://www.kellimaykrenz.com/

day 15 and 16 "100 days of YOU with kelli"

artwork by me. thought by me.

Forgiving yourself. You did what you knew. Strong words that will connect with some of you. Others will wonder what in the world this message means. That's okay. It is perfect actually. We all have our walk and some have more mountain climbing then others.

I am so very hard on myself. I set out my visions and plans and then I work so very hard at manifesting those moments to happen. I try to have no expectations (almost impossible) but, I do a very good job at attempting this one. I have blind faith. I believe in good. I believe that if I put enough energy into my life, good will come.

I have been listening to an artist - singer songwriter named Jason Isbell. He has a song called, "Teach me how to forget". Over the past few months I have listened to this song over and over until I know it by heart. The words haunt me in a very healing knowing way. I need to forgive myself. I need to know that I did my very best (what I knew to do) The time that went wrong for me is okay. I can forgive myself for what I did (even if I am unsure of what it was) Let it go as it no longer serves me. It hurts me. It hurts my heart. So I am forgiving myself again.

I think by replacing a hard moment with a good moment is a beautiful thing to practice. Some days it is simply hard to practice and we dive back into the lesson we are trying so hard to unlearn.

Well, I am here, I am flawed and I am practicing just like all of you. I will continue to climb this mountain every single day. I would love for you to gleam a goodness from my 100 days. I sure hope this speaks to your hearts and helps you find healing, love and a path of greater good for you.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8qTsRO8xt8
Jason Isbell's song right here.

painting sold. words matter. 

from one of my journals. play today. 

every new day you can begin again

her spirit moved mountains. painting sold. words matter..

Happy day 10 and 11. So sorry yesterday was a blur. Hard as I tried I had deadlines in my design world that kept busting me. So proof that I am human and I missed our day 10 together. Every new day you can begin again. I love this and it is pure truth.

Now is a great time to talk about why we are so hard on ourselves? What good does it serve us? Why do we choose to not be as kind to ourselves as we are with others? I do not believe it is our nature to do this. At least I hope not. I believe that we think we are going to push ourselves more if we are hard on ourselves. I am learning that when I do this for month at a time, I just shut down. SO new way of thinking = every time I think I am going to be hard on ME, I say STOP, I train myself to say this, "you are doing your very best, showing up everyday, YOU matter keep going."

I know by practicing we can stop the negative self talk, the non positive positioning we but, ourselves in. No fun to feel trapped by your own limitations. Time to practice your way OUT.

You can write about what this looks like for you. You can paint about it. You can build a visual page about it with pictures and words clipped from magazines. Any way that you can express and work on releasing what it is that you are unhappy with. DO IT!!! In time it changes YOU for the healthier better YOU.

Let's share together how this journey of YOU is feeling. Thank you for being here and taking this journey of 100 days with me. Love Kelli


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Day 8 of "100 days of YOU with kelli"

me at 52 sharing my life with you. grateful. i am. 

Hello day 8. I think this is going great! Yes, I do. I love that a few of you are sharing and really diving into this journey with me. Thank you so very much.

I have decided that it would be a great idea for me to talk about some biggies that I have climbed over. How I have put these moments in my life and turned them around to give me more passion and grace.

We have been thinking of our childhood loves. How our childhood free thoughts and sense of wonder was so giving and such a carefree time. I love to hold onto the really great stuff. We all have some I just know it, along with hard stuff that we have overcome.

When I was growing up I was bullied A LOT! I grew up in a small river town in Iowa so everyone knew everyone. There were some really mean girls that would bully me. I would walk to school in fear, I would have tons of fear in the locker room or even just at my locker in the hall. Yes, I was treated terribly. Of course, my parents were always having my back and trying to make this stop. As we all know sometimes this makes it worse. Drats!!! I learned a few great things about mean bully people. I learned that it is always about the other person who just needs to act out and hurt others because they feel good pushing someone smaller around. I learned that I could rise above it and succeed with my ability to ignore. I would find great comfort in my art and would develop a wonderful imagination to feel beyond the hurt. I continue to rise above mean people. Sure I am sensitive and I have feelings that get hurt from time to time. I will say this - I tell myself how lucky I am to be alive, how blessed I am to be able to show love and give love, I tell myself that I am so heavenly lucky to not be a bully or mean person. Grace is a gift. I give myself grace and love every single day. I turn away from people or moments in my life that do not serve me to my greater good.
NO this is not easy - but with practice it becomes easy and so healing.

Maybe, when we think about our childhood some icky feeling pop up. Yes, that is okay because we are being given the gift of healing those long ago hurts. How wonderful to know that we can heal even a zillion years later. Yes, we are strong, brave and showing up to create our best life yet.

We are all here and climbing our mountain together. I love us. I love you.

Thank you for being present, for taking time to notice the stuff in your life that works for you.
This matters. You matter the very most.

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loving life - celebrating moments I am

Pearl Button cherished beyond 

magic when I hold her 

she is pure love 

nothing more real pure light 

This past week was a rush of living life out loud and fully. Friends visiting (who have never been here before). New journey into learning more scheduling and order to my creative days with a very talented mentor and coach. New online class that requires me to be brave, learn more and take more leaps into faith and a knowing in my heart.

Then came an hour of sunshine through the window, fun clothes to play dress up in, layering my pearl necklaces (all gifts from friends) putting a bit of silly on and holding my most precious little Pearl Button.

My hubby grabbing his iphone and snapping some photos of this space and time in my life.

Yes, I am 52 and still learning every single day. Yes, I am aging and changing both inside and out. I work daily at embracing all that I am. Loving me fully for the goodness I know I have. These photos are not retouched or doctored up to look special. For me these photos represent taking a moment in my life to say this, "Kelli you are so blessed to be alive, have love surround you and truly know beauty."

Celebrating the precious everyday. I am trying. It makes a difference. Loving more.

www.kellimaykrenz.com

wide open land. wide open life. keep dreaming.

oh this. memories for me. dreams that still need nurtured.

land. fields. trees. barns. gravel. space.

my little family dreaming with me. hubby and pearl button.

I often write about how fast time dashes by. Seems like I can blink and one month is gone. I have been searching, dreaming, moving, reaching, building, working so hard for the past two years. I know the only way to achieve all that I need to fill my soul up is to work really hard and focus. Lessons that I have know most of my life. Listening to my heart. Listening to the voices that speak the loudest to me. Listening to this art filled life of mine that keeps me inspired, keeps me loving big, keeps me pushing.

Dreams are funny things. I know that dreams only come true with tons of hard work. I have had so many of my dreams come true. Seems funny I can still want more, I do. I want what I know is inside of me just waiting to SHINE out.  I stumble, I flat out fall but, I get back up and keep pushing the mountains aside.

Drive. I sometimes ask myself - where does my drive come from? Is it just survival? No, not for me.
I want to thrive in giving love. I want to share my messages of hope, surviving, dreaming big and creating a life well lived.

Hard lessons only push me harder. I pray to be a light for others.

Why the pictures of this farm and land? Right now in this time and space the rolling hills, the green grass, gravel roads, crickets singing, grasshoppers hopping and mind stopping beauty has my heart.
I wonder do I need to be out in the midst of 20 acres creating, retreating and making my biggest dream come true?

Come with me and see this adventure that is wide open. Grateful to be noticing my days with grace and appreciation. Never ever take your life for granted. You are precious.

http://www.kellimaykrenz.com/ my new website where you can learn more about my life and my art.

my summer of learning and listening

stitch. pray. heal.

finding delight in the tiny details. every single day.

Wow it has been over one month since I have blogged. I have been living in a sort of constant days and nights rolling into one month of time. This is my summer of fighting shingles. Fighting is not the best word to use when describing non stop pain. I usually try to surround everything in my body with love and positive words. Lately I've been feeling like this really is a fight to survive with my mental goodness. I am not good at resting non stop. I like to do things. I love adventures and outings and finding unexpected fun.

This is a time in my life to learn lessons about healing, about myself and really listen. I am not sure I am really good at this listening part. I am practicing on getting better at it daily.

I have been stitching a great deal as I can rest and still create. I often write that creating is like breathing to me. I must do it. So I have found a way to create even while healing. I am so grateful for this.

My days are getting better as I do have more energy then I did one month ago. I know that good things take time. My healing is a very good thing so I will surround this time with as much love as I know how to.

I have been extremely blessed with the love from others. Prayers are being heard and I am most thankful. I will continue to create each day in the ways that I can hoping that my dreams will continue to grow and the mountains I need to climb will be waiting for me.

Looking forward to life after shingle pain.

what it takes to make a life long dream come true = by me

love with all my soul = Pearl Button

paint, illustrate, create more, layer more, be mindful

notice the path of my life that has me here right NOW

styling spaces = oh i love this stuff = watch out booth #1559 NYChttps://www.facebook.com/kelli.maykrenz

get published A LOT and get your artwork on the cover

be true to yourself = be raw and be seen

It has been way to long since I blogged. My days turn into nights into weeks into months lately.
I am good with that. I am grateful for that. I am so insanely blessed to be right here, right now and to really notice how very lucky I am.

Truth. I have created my own luck. I have worked seriously hard to be in this very place and time.
I have climbed a whole bunch of big scary mountains. Mountains that had winding paths of betrayal,
death, life changing illness, self doubt, anxiety, panic attacks and more self doubt. I have been an artist my entire life. I have created for fortune 500 companies for many many years. I have no real ego. Truth. I care most about loving and giving and yes, being loved back.

I thought it might be nice to share some bits of what I have done to arrive at this very space in time to get to my dream of debuting my line of ME at the National Stationary Show. I know I make it look easy as I stay positive and keep my life in good energy. I practice daily at showing up to do the really hard work. I know I am lucky to be given gifts and I am meant to share.

It took me so very many years and so much help from loves in my life to get me here.

We have sold a home I adored to be able to have money to design just for me. I let go of clients and income that I depended on to live. I have trusted in being good and giving and creating in life.

In the past two years come this May. We have sold 80 percent of everything we owned (with my darling hubby supporting and working with me to make this happen). We have moved from Minneapolis to Sarasota Florida then near the beach Siesta Key and now to Galena Illinois. I have created enough art to submit and be published in 8 magazines, continued working on my favorite clients in Minneapolis (okay, I need some income) and being mindful of having a good life, a true and loving marriage, being a good daughter, friend and showing up.

I am seeing the light of our travels to NYC on May 12th. I still have to reach the top of the mountain. Believe me I have tons of work to do to get there. I can honestly say (and I am SO hard on myself) but, I have 80 cards that I adore and other cool products for the show.

I hope that I can inspire one person to really go for your dream. No matter how big or small. We are blessed with one life (that I know of) and it matters that we show up and continue to love ourselves.

I cannot thank my hubby enough for believing in me. I really am very lucky. Love sweet love. Shine.


https://www.facebook.com/kelli.maykrenz

December running full out

details i adore.

I knew that December would bring lots of emotions for me. It is the first time I have been lucky enough to be so close to home (where I grew up) in over 30 years. That is crazy but, true. For me the seasons, changing weather, bundling up, decorating for the holidays, listening to music saved special for Christmas time all adds up to being truly centered and happy.

I realize more and more that in this busy crazy month of December it is important to take the time to really listen to friends and family. Be there in spirit and being mindful of being present. It is so easy to just send off a gift or cards not as easy to drop everything you are doing and be there for others.

I have been trying super lots to be there for others by listening and sharing time. Granted I have few friends in Galena (as we just moved almost two months ago) I am listening and learning about what makes me feel whole. This town, this house, the streets and buildings all make me feel whole and alive. I feel like this December is so extra special blessed. Trying to hold every moment knowing they are the most precious of all.

Happy December. Happy life. Fill it up with all that matters most to you. It counts.